Why would you do something like this for strangers?

That is a question I get asked often and later in the blog, I will address this.   

But first, I must tell about the weekend that led up to today where we finally got to meet each other!  (WARNING-- This is long and picture heavy.  If you are stateside, go grab a beer and cheetos, if you are in the UK, grab a cup of tea and a biscuit-- if you are in Ireland, maybe some corned beef or something!!  And of course I have a reader in India and Japan now too-- no clue who you guys are but hello!!!)

Friday night Kurt and I flew out to Milwaukee for what we knew would be an exhausting weekend.  We got to his parents after 1am and didn't get into bed until after 2 and was up the next day before 7.  East coast time got us!  We got up, ate breakfast then started getting ready for the weekend's festivities.  First was Kurt's twin brother's wedding!  We went to the service at the church and it was beautiful.

Some of us before the wedding

Kurt's large family after the ceremony

 The bride and groom rented a school bus (incidentally driven by their childhood acvities bus driver!) and it was loaded with eh hum, beverages.  From the church we went to two bars where they served free shots when the Badgers scored.  It was a great day for us!

Drinking booze on a bus is not normal

The lovely newlywed couple

Bar number 1 with the girls (all of us are sisters/sister-in-laws)

Then we got to the reception site and had an amazing wedding party/reception where the cake was mini ice cream cakes.

Dancing was great.  Fun was had by all!!  Until..... Well let's just say I was running out to the car, wearing a lovely wrap dress.  It was SNOWING.  Stupid four letter word S N O W!  Kurt's sister and I grabbed what we needed and ran back in... but my dress was grabbed by the car door... but I didn't think much about it.

Exhibit A -- The Start of the snow...

Well as I was running in the door of the reception, there they were in all of their glory.  My thigh highs showing because my dress had unwrapped like a burrito you don't have a firm grip on and the contents fell out!!  My other sister in law was walking to the bathroom and she looked at me strangely.  You know that look where dogs tilt their heads and perk their ears up?  Yep that look.  Then she said 'Oh my Melanie!!'  She saw my dress wide open and my lacy thigh highs were showing. I am now either the family favorite or I am off the Christmas Card list!!   I have no photo of this... sorry folks!

So here are some other photos from the reception. 

The in-laws who celebrated their 50th anniversary this weekend as well!

The husband and I.... and the wrap dress I will never wear again!

That night... the snow fell harder.  This was what it looked by midnight-- and the temperature felt like -1 degree!!!

The next day, we again woke up early after going to bed late.  Today was the day for the Golden Wedding Anniversary party for Kurt's parents.  They celebrated 50 years of wedded bliss together!  Take notes from them, they are doing something right!

But first we need to check out the photo stream to see what is going on back home with the kids-- what photos are they taking.  I cannot stop laughing at these photos.  I will cherish these FOREVER!!

The Golden Anniversary celebration was also lovely.  It had an accordion player that played polka music.  (My mother in law went to school with this gentleman!)  Polka dancing happened, there was a Green Bay Packers game on and the family enjoyed another day of togetherness!!

A photo showing that we were all partied out by Sunday night!

Finally, Monday came and it was time to go home but first we had to go to the local jewelry store.  This store has been where all jewelry has been purchased for all major events in the family's life.  When people get married, this is where the engagement rings and wedding bands are purchased. If a baby is being baptized, cross necklaces and precious moment figurines are purchased here.  But me, this girl, you know, the one married to the 'favorite' son.  Nope I don't have a piece of jewelry from Schoenborn's... (http://www.bobschoenbornsjewelry.com/history.html) But I will ... It has been open for more than 100 years and I need a piece of history.  And I choose this one:  A girl can dream right?

A 2.65ct beautiful estate piece.  It is only $6400 but worth $10k+  Isn't it gorgeous!!??

Off to the airport we went... in the snow.  Please let us get out to Detroit and onto Washington DC.  We had been trying to get on an earlier flight to meet E&L earlier in the day so it wasn't awkward going into psych evals not knowing each other well... but that didn't pan out.  Flights were full so we headed to the airport to take my Sister In Law heading to Maine so we would be there 4 hours early.  No big deal.  We had plenty to do at the airport to keep us occupied!

Our flight got a little delayed so we headed for dinner in the airport.  Then a little more delayed so we went to the USO.

The lovely USO

Departures Board

Then our 50 minute layover was non-existent anymore.  We were about to board the flight and the gate attendant told us that our follow on flight had already been bumped until the next morning.  Except they were not going to tell us until we got to Detroit.  Well they were nice and helped us facilitate a refund and with the permission of E&L we booked another flight with Southwest.  Luckily that flight was delayed as well or we wouldn't have made that one.  We had to wait for our bags to be pulled from the Detroit flight.  With a bit of deep breathing.... we were once again situated.... And had time to kill and learn how to use Kurt's new iPhone's settings like delayed photos!

Somehow through all of this, we still stayed very level headed and didn't get frustrated with each other at all.  Actually we had a lot of fun... until the VERY windy and rough landing in DC.  But alas, we landed safely!  We got our bags, our rental car and we were off to the hotel.  Once again, we got to bed after 1 and we woke up at 6:30 so the nights were incredibly short this trip!

We woke up this morning, got ready and headed for the lobby/bistro in the hotel.  When Kurt and I got there, we waited for a few minutes and E&L showed up.  How do you put into words what you are doing for someone else?  Or how you should feel or act when you are meeting someone for the first time that you are about to embark on a HUGE journey with?  You become friends with them.

They sat down and we talked, like we have been friends for years.  There was never an awkward moment.  Then Sandra showed up from the agency (familyforwardsurrogacy.com) so she could join in with us for breakfast to make sure there were no awkward moments and it gave her the opportunity to meet her wonderful clients for the first time!

We talked about many things that had nothing to do with surrogacy (as friends would), and talked about important things that apply to surrogacy as well such as insurance.  We exchanged some lovely gifts with each other.  

For E, he is wise and yet youthful.  Worldly and at the same time witty.   I chose the book by Dr. Seuss "The Places You'll Go" because it speaks of all of the places you will go if you learn more.  One of their friends told them about surrogacy when they hit the 'What now?' wall and they started researching.. reading.. learning... and now one of the places they will go is to Washington DC so that together, we can make a baby!

For L, I got this bracelet.  I read the quote 'She stood in the storm and when it did not blow her away, she adjusted her sails'  This one small quote just spoke to me.  It is the mantra of Intended Mothers.  When she stood in the storm, unable to have her own baby, she chose to adjust the sails and change her direction rather than being knocked off course.  Determination, dedication, all of that is necessary in surrogacy.  L is strong and she will let the wind help her rather than knock her down!

For us, they brought many lovely UK items.  Organic beauty products that I cannot wait to use and of course-- tea and chocolate!  So I asked today if Brits put honey in their tea.  Apparently they do not.  I must learn to make a proper cup of tea!!

After breakfast we headed over to the clinic for a quick scan of my ovaries to see how the cyst was.  It was smaller (32mm rather than 45mm and it was considered a simple cyst and they are not concerned)  Also on CD8, my lining on my natural cycle was 8mm.  So that is beautiful.

We had a visit (first by myself, then Kurt joined then the IPs joined) with the social worker to make sure we were all on the same page.  Of course we were as we had talked in depth about our expectations before we ever made it to the clinic.  Sitting in the 'therapy' room was like a bunch of friends sitting together.

After that was done, my husband got a lesson on injections and gave me one to show that he was competent to handle this part of the job.  Also we talked about our schedule/calendar.   Initially we planned on doing a fresh cycle but Dr. Levy wants to do PGS and test the embryos then freeze them until the results come back.  This will help to prevent miscarriages and it also brings the success rates up higher as well so this is the best course of action for all of us!  So L will have her retrieval in January, testing will take 3 wks then I will start meds and transfer early March.

When we finished up there, Kurt and I offered to take them to the metro so they wouldn't have to take a cab and it gave us a few extra minutes together.  They were heading off to NYC to see L's best friend and talk business with some other things.  They had to hop on a train from the metro station and we headed south, but first.  Let me take a selfie!!   E also has a new camera so he was taking photos off and on all day so I will be interested to see how those come out-- he was famous about taking photos mid-sentence!

So back to the title.  Why would I do this for a stranger?  or alternatively Do you know the couple?

Well we are all strangers when we first meet.  When a mother meets her child for the first time-- strangers.  When a woman meets a man who will ultimately be her husband for the first time-- strangers.  All relationships that we have in our lives, we were once strangers.  E&L were once strangers as well.  We are still getting to know each other, but after today, I can say for sure that we will not always be strangers and we are friends.  We are a team who is working together for a common goal.  They may have once been strangers but they no longer are strangers!